Padre, that’ll be 6 Jeff Coopers

Flock backs priest accused of pointing gun at Cowboys fan in Giants country”  reads the FoxNews headline.


It seems that Rev. Kevin Carter, pastor of St. Margaret of Cortona Church in Little Ferry, NJ, asked to see a young parishioner the morning of Sunday, September 13 before Mass.  It seems the lad’s mortal soul was in danger–he is a Dallas Cowboys fan, and had shown up in his Dallas jersey in Jersey, in Giants country.

As a life-long Washington Redskins fan, I can understand the good padre’s concern.  However, a mass violation of Col. Cooper’s rules before Mass is not how to go about dealing with the situation.

Apparently, the good reverend pointed a long gun, later found to be a functional Civil War musket, at the young man in question, eventually netting himself one count of fourth degree aggravated assault by pointing a firearm and one count of third degree endangering the welfare of a child when someone narced him out.

A witness said that the entire episode was  “…was all loud and good humored fun and nothing but, as everyone involved, including the boy, was clearly laughing. In fact, boisterously so.”

If the musket in question had happen to have been loaded, and the good reverend had just happened to have pulled back the hammer–all in good humored fun–and pulled the trigger–clearly laughing–and perforated the young man with a .50 caliber or larger lead ball, would we all be laughing?

Padre, the gun is always loaded.  We never point it at anything we don’t plan on destroying.  I hope the court goes lightly on you, because you obviously didn’t plan on actually harming anyone.  But you’re a stone stupid idiot around guns, and someone needs to school you, hard.  Even without a ball in the musket, a discharge at point blank range can kill.

Go forth and sin no more.

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