Breyer, who managed to edge out the front-running Republican Party with a late round of asshatism, has been unavailable for comment.
The NGI Award Committee is aware of the dangers of premature awarding, but feels that, in this case, it will be nearly impossible for anyone to exceed the quantity and quality of Justice Breyer’s latest effort.
In related news, Santa Claus has announced that, in an effort to promote green Christmas gifts, Justice Breyer will receive a quantity of reindeer shit, similar in size and weight to the traditional lump of coal. This “green gift” will not add to CO2 emissions and is fully biodegradable. This gift is certified to be produced by native animals who are part of a Fair Trade cooperative.
Santa says that there is no truth to the rumors that it will be delivered in a flaming bag on Justice Breyer’s front porch.