Attention Guilford County, NC

The State of NC Annual Revenue Enhancement Patrols are in your area. The NC Highway Patrol’s 2007 Operation Slowdown is underway, and this week it’s Guilford County’s turn to help out the cause.

“The faster you’re going, it takes you know, less time to lose control of your vehicle and certainly the results could be devastating,” explained Trooper T. L. Van Dyke.

Sounds very convincing. “Speed kills” and all that. Doesn’t the Highway Patrol hire any troopers who can, like, speak proper English when being interviewed?”What we’re doing is concentrating on speed violations, seat belts, obviously the ‘Move Over’ law,” Van Dyke added.

Apparently not.

For the record, a speeding ticket can cost as much as $300 plus $110 in court costs. Of course, the troopers are just doing what they’re told to do. If the state’s coffers get a bit fuller, so much the better, right?

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